After a disappointing summer, Humpty Dumpty has a great fall.

My most important professional accomplishment to date is the ability to keep working with absolutely no skills whatsoever.

I believe it was Shakespeare who said, 'All the world's a stage, and you are CRAP!'

Give me liberty! Or a bran muffin!

I don't want to get all lefty, but if we took the defence budgets from around the world, we could end hunger everywhere. I would hope that all the world's leaders are thinking about poverty. Get to work. Do something. This is something that's going to be with us forever.

You know, in the 1970's, when I was in high school, I belonged to a band called the Happy Funk Band. Until an unfortunate typo caused us to be expelled from school.

This just in: Beverly Hills 90210, Cleveland Browns 3.