What I love about comedians is their instinct is always to go against the grain. Their whole existence is pointing out the elephant in the room. Already you can see audiences are pushing back, but we're the ones who really can take it more than anybody.

It was tumultuous, it was crazy, but I would not trade it for anything.

I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be.

I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit.

I'm quietly becoming New York's premiere actor. People don't understand. They have me pigeon-holed as a comedian.

Marie Antoinette was funny, I'm sure she was just misinterpreted. You know the 'Let them eat cake' line. She seems like she was kind of funny, like a Chelsea Handler or Kathy Griffin type.

The mistake that people make in stand-up is thinking they're profound or they're deep when there are so many people who have more worthwhile ways of phrasing things.