Somehow, it was so happy a time. Those early days of comedy are when you get addicted to it.

I think everyone should own six guns, even though I don't own any.

That’s the beauty of being a comedian: it’s the one job you’re allowed to do that. We’re lucky. We’re really lucky.

People's - most people's job is talking about the future or like money not even in the present tense. It's not even paper.

My name has zero value.

You know how it is with writing. You just write what you want to write. There's no way to predict what is good or bad. You just do what you think is funny, and either it works or you're finished. It's impossible to predict anything.

You can’t make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody.