Somehow, it was so happy a time. Those early days of comedy are when you get addicted to it.

It’s sad. Marxism didn’t work. Communism didn’t work. Capitalism doesn’t work. Nothing works. Even democracy doesn’t work. Democracy-the greatest form of government and we have two choices for who’s our leader. In fascism you only have one choice. That’s great. We have one more choice than the worst form of government.

You can't make money on Broadway. You make nothing. You maybe make like $1,350 a week after you pay out all the producers.

I always wanted to write as much as perform.

New York Stat agreed to pay $12 million to settle a lawsuit filed three decades ago by inmates swept up in the bloody 1971 revolt at Attica prison. The settlement will be paid in the form of chocolate bars and packs of Newports that can be picked up in the commissary.

The earth is a used Kleenex on the universe's nightstand.

I love people, I love studying people more than history. So whatever situation I see, then I look at, what were the people like, more than history itself.