Somehow, it was so happy a time. Those early days of comedy are when you get addicted to it.

I feel most empires fell when they started to act human, but then look at Russia. They kept a pretty strong hand, and they fell from Afghanistan alone because Afghanistan is the graveyard of empires. I guess you just can't sustain it.

People say history was written by the winners. No, it wasn't. It was written by the bullies.

Stand-up is live, so I'm used to being live for most of my career. It's interesting.

I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be.

I write all the time - I write poetry, I love to write

The Senate was holding hearings on deceptive sweepstakes practices. These companies target the elderly, making them think they're going to get a bunch of money, when in reality they never see any of it. The most popular of these scams is called Social Security.