Somehow, it was so happy a time. Those early days of comedy are when you get addicted to it.

The only people who like to live alone more than comics are priests.

I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit.

I feel most empires fell when they started to act human, but then look at Russia. They kept a pretty strong hand, and they fell from Afghanistan alone because Afghanistan is the graveyard of empires. I guess you just can't sustain it.

I love people, I love studying people more than history. So whatever situation I see, then I look at, what were the people like, more than history itself.

People say history was written by the winners. No, it wasn't. It was written by the bullies.

I used to love the election season'cause it's kind of fun. Everyone makes a big sport out of it with all these different news stories and everything. I like it better now that everybody knows all the candidates from the past 15 years. But it does get really ugly. It's ugly and it's pugilist.