You can't make money on Broadway. You make nothing. You maybe make like $1,350 a week after you pay out all the producers.

New York Stat agreed to pay $12 million to settle a lawsuit filed three decades ago by inmates swept up in the bloody 1971 revolt at Attica prison. The settlement will be paid in the form of chocolate bars and packs of Newports that can be picked up in the commissary.

I used to love the election season'cause it's kind of fun. Everyone makes a big sport out of it with all these different news stories and everything. I like it better now that everybody knows all the candidates from the past 15 years. But it does get really ugly. It's ugly and it's pugilist.

I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit.

People's - most people's job is talking about the future or like money not even in the present tense. It's not even paper.

I think I identify more with the smart guy, but most people might take umbrage at that. I like to think of myself as a real thinker, but I suppose people might beg to differ.

With comedians, you have that understanding that we're trying to get laughs.