You can't make money on Broadway. You make nothing. You maybe make like $1,350 a week after you pay out all the producers.

The earth is a used Kleenex on the universe's nightstand.

You can't make money on Broadway. You make nothing. You maybe make like $1,350 a week after you pay out all the producers.

People's - most people's job is talking about the future or like money not even in the present tense. It's not even paper.

Somehow, it was so happy a time. Those early days of comedy are when you get addicted to it.

I've been to Japan, I've been to China, I've been to Africa, I've been to the Middle East, I've been to Europe a little bit. I've never been to South America.

You can’t make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody.