I'm always working on stuff. But they never materialize. I'm always working on movies and TV shows.

I'm just another guy who thinks he's smarter than he is, in a long line of them.

People's - most people's job is talking about the future or like money not even in the present tense. It's not even paper.

I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit.

What I love about comedians is their instinct is always to go against the grain. Their whole existence is pointing out the elephant in the room. Already you can see audiences are pushing back, but we're the ones who really can take it more than anybody.

With comedians, you have that understanding that we're trying to get laughs.

The earth is a used Kleenex on the universe's nightstand.