I'm always working on stuff. But they never materialize. I'm always working on movies and TV shows.

I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit.

The earth is a used Kleenex on the universe's nightstand.

Stand-up is live, so I'm used to being live for most of my career. It's interesting.

I don't know any comedian who tailors his act to his audience. Maybe people say they do, but I can't even imagine them.

I think if you try to tailor your act to anybody, you end up with an act that doesn't work anyway.

What I love about comedians is their instinct is always to go against the grain. Their whole existence is pointing out the elephant in the room. Already you can see audiences are pushing back, but we're the ones who really can take it more than anybody.