My stand-up act? I combine the fact that the world is a violent place with the fact that each person is responsible for the situation they are in.

I'm quietly becoming New York's premiere actor. People don't understand. They have me pigeon-holed as a comedian.

People's - most people's job is talking about the future or like money not even in the present tense. It's not even paper.

You can’t make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody.

People say history was written by the winners. No, it wasn't. It was written by the bullies.

I don't know any comedian who tailors his act to his audience. Maybe people say they do, but I can't even imagine them.

Twitter is one of those dangerous toys that if it gets in the hands of the wrong person you'll have the mind of a 12-year-old masquerading as an adult.