I think Helen of Troy must have been pretty hot. She got two countries going crazy for 10 years over her.

The ancient Greeks were the first ones to say an unexamined life is not worth living. They don't tell you of course what we found out, an examined life not that fascinating either.

I don't know any comedian who tailors his act to his audience. Maybe people say they do, but I can't even imagine them.

Somehow, it was so happy a time. Those early days of comedy are when you get addicted to it.

I used to love the election season'cause it's kind of fun. Everyone makes a big sport out of it with all these different news stories and everything. I like it better now that everybody knows all the candidates from the past 15 years. But it does get really ugly. It's ugly and it's pugilist.

I'm not a big method actor. I'm much more superficial.

That’s the beauty of being a comedian: it’s the one job you’re allowed to do that. We’re lucky. We’re really lucky.