I think Helen of Troy must have been pretty hot. She got two countries going crazy for 10 years over her.

I'm always working on stuff. But they never materialize. I'm always working on movies and TV shows.

I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be.

The mistake that people make in stand-up is thinking they're profound or they're deep when there are so many people who have more worthwhile ways of phrasing things.

The only people who like to live alone more than comics are priests.

I write all the time - I write poetry, I love to write

Somehow, it was so happy a time. Those early days of comedy are when you get addicted to it.