I don't know any comedian who tailors his act to his audience. Maybe people say they do, but I can't even imagine them.

I know nowadays the common wisdom is to celebrate diversity as long as you don't point out that people are different.

I feel most empires fell when they started to act human, but then look at Russia. They kept a pretty strong hand, and they fell from Afghanistan alone because Afghanistan is the graveyard of empires. I guess you just can't sustain it.

The Senate was holding hearings on deceptive sweepstakes practices. These companies target the elderly, making them think they're going to get a bunch of money, when in reality they never see any of it. The most popular of these scams is called Social Security.

You know, the funny thing about Lorne and that show is that, you can go over one million things, but in a business of bean counters, he still likes to laugh at small things and creates a show around it.

My stand-up act? I combine the fact that the world is a violent place with the fact that each person is responsible for the situation they are in.

I think Helen of Troy must have been pretty hot. She got two countries going crazy for 10 years over her.