It was tumultuous, it was crazy, but I would not trade it for anything.

I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be.

Humanity is a crazy contradiction. I accept us for who we are. We're not that great. Every time we take a step forward we go back to the same primitive behavior. We're meant to be this way. It's not our fault, it's just who we are.

The mistake that people make in stand-up is thinking they're profound or they're deep when there are so many people who have more worthwhile ways of phrasing things.

People say history is boring, and that is true because people are boring. We haven't changed since time began. We're still the same.

Somehow, it was so happy a time. Those early days of comedy are when you get addicted to it.

Marie Antoinette was funny, I'm sure she was just misinterpreted. You know the 'Let them eat cake' line. She seems like she was kind of funny, like a Chelsea Handler or Kathy Griffin type.