Stand-up is live, so I'm used to being live for most of my career. It's interesting.

You can't make money on Broadway. You make nothing. You maybe make like $1,350 a week after you pay out all the producers.

I think if you try to tailor your act to anybody, you end up with an act that doesn't work anyway.

So instead of talking about theoretical ways of ending the war and violence, I say that we have to get rid of the individual asholes in each office and situation.

I used to love the election season'cause it's kind of fun. Everyone makes a big sport out of it with all these different news stories and everything. I like it better now that everybody knows all the candidates from the past 15 years. But it does get really ugly. It's ugly and it's pugilist.

It was tumultuous, it was crazy, but I would not trade it for anything.

Everybody says before reviews come out, 'Oh, reviews don't matter,' just in case they're bad; everyone want to brace themselves.