There are plans for a new high-speed train between Los Angeles and San Francisco. It will make the trip time 30 minutes. People in L.A. are like, Yes! And people in San Francisco are like, Yeah, sure, great. We look forward to seeing you.

The Afghan government is as corrupt as a prostitute with a law degree.

Tomorrow is your future's yesterday.

Look, there is nothing you can say about this show that I don't already know

I think people are as individual as snowflakes, they kinda look alike but no two are the exactly the same, and all classification is the root of prejudice.

My pilot's license. I'm proud of that.

I don't like my politicians entertaining me and I don't like my entertainers politicianing me.