Whoever I had become had to die.

I aim to please. I'm nothing if not a vaudevillian.

Now that healthcare is guaranteed, I'm frying everything I eat. Fried food and cigarettes.

The 'Star Wars' movie is coming out. Disney has kept the details of the movie under wraps because they're not Sony.

People are saying that Anderson Cooper could be the new Oprah. And then these people are struck by lightning.

Twas the night before Thanksgiving. All the food's in the oven. And I'm in the bedroom performin' self lovin'.

Today Prince William went to Washington, D.C., and he met with President Obama. He said, 'It feels weird being in the White House because I'm not an American.' And then Prince William said, 'Yeah, me too.'