You know, where I come from, an antique, to be called an antique, it has to be at least a hundred years old. That's a law: before you can call something an antique, it has to be a hundred years old. In L.A., something that's been around for a couple of weeks is an antique. It's true! People are like, Look at this old-fashioned iPod. Look at this! It's the size of a man's hand! Ha ha ha ha. Back then-back then, people thought Mel Gibson was just acting crazy. It was a very different time.

That's why I believe in a Constitution which separates church from state. I've seen what happens when they get in cahoots.

A friend of mine that I was in a band with started me on Kafka, which in turn led to Camus and Sartre.

You know, I think there's a good rule of thumb here: Don't take nutritional advice from other species.

If you're frightened of leprechauns, the best thing to do is to get yourself a little leprechaun outfit and see how big they are. And then you'll go, 'Well I see. That's like bein' frightened of a hampster.'

If a man doesn't know how to dance he doesn't know how to make love, there I said it!

Another one of President Barack Obama's nominees is having tax issues, which proves one thing: The Democrats like raising the taxes, but they hate paying them.