You know, where I come from, an antique, to be called an antique, it has to be at least a hundred years old. That's a law: before you can call something an antique, it has to be a hundred years old. In L.A., something that's been around for a couple of weeks is an antique. It's true! People are like, Look at this old-fashioned iPod. Look at this! It's the size of a man's hand! Ha ha ha ha. Back then-back then, people thought Mel Gibson was just acting crazy. It was a very different time.

You know when you're a kid and you think, 'Oh no, I've got double math, this is never gonna end,' but then it ends, and it's like it never happened? That's like life.

From this moment on I'd dedicate my life to rock and roll and take as many drugs as possible. What could possibly go wrong?

There's something spiritual in hard work. Spirituality isn't all aromatherapy and scented candles.

World War Z is out today. The big zombie movie. The trailer looks scary. You see hordes of bodies climbing and rolling over each other. It's like Black Friday at the mall.

A woman in Germany gave birth to a 13 1/2 pound baby. That baby was so fat his first word was strudel.

A number of U.S. colleges are going to start having dorms for alcoholics. I believe those are called dorms.