The idea of having Australians upset at me is just awful.

Former president George W. Bush released his new memoir. By the way, 'memoir' is just a fancy word for 'a bunch of stuff that happened to me.

I think sometimes that people think brave means not being afraid, which of course it doesn't mean that at all. It means that you're afraid, but you move past that and do it anyway, do what you think is right.

I do a public access show with puppets. Puppets called actors, TV and movie stars.

Twas the night before Thanksgiving.

Don't hit women. Never, ever, ever.

I'm not aware of having a creepy laugh, but apparently I do.