A new study says by 2030 household robots will dominate every phase of our lives. The study says the No. 1 field for robot growth is medicine. That makes sense. Robots already perform well in surgery. That is, until there is a power outage. Then it's just a coat rack leaning over you as you bleed to death.

A new survey says one in three adults will be dressing up for Halloween. As for me, I'm not going to do anything. I'm going as Congress.

That's why I believe in a Constitution which separates church from state. I've seen what happens when they get in cahoots.

Harry Potter, he sends a message on Owl Mail while us poor old muggles have to make do with instantaneous emails and texting. Oh, if only we could be like you Harry Potter, with your four day owl delivery!

People talk to old people like they're children.'Oh you're very old aren't you?' Yeah I'm old. I'm not stupid.

I have no ambitions beyond being comfortable in what I do for a living - and earning a living.

You clap. The Censor wakes up. We all get into trouble.