In Los Angeles on Black Friday, a woman pepper sprayed Wal-Mart shoppers who tried to cut in line. The police acted fast by immediately hiring her to get rid of peaceful protesters outside banking institutions all across the United States.

Nothing says romance like hobos, martyrs and decapitations.

Dell Computers announced they're releasing a competitor for the iPad. Now it is, in fact, a great alternative for people who already have an iPad, but are fed up with it working all the time.

Rush Limbaugh says if the health care bill passes, he will leave the country. The Democrats are upset, because if they knew that, they would have passed the bill years ago.

President Obama said that we rely too much on gadgets. He gave a passionate speech about technology, but he had to stop when the teleprompter broke.

You know, I think there's a good rule of thumb here: Don't take nutritional advice from other species.

I got sober. I stopped killing myself with alcohol. I began to think: 'Wait a minute - if I can stop doing this, what are the possibilities?' And slowly it dawned on me that it was maybe worth the risk.