I felt that, as time went on, an audience gets to know you and in a weird way, you kind of feel like you get to know the audience a little bit. When I'm doing stand-up gigs now, I feel like I'm doing gigs in front of people I know. I think that's the result of doing late-night shows for so long.

I think when you become a parent you go from being a star in the movie of your own life to the supporting player in the movie of someone else's.

I am probably a pseudo-intellectual.

Much of television has been homogenized in the desire to avoid annoying or upsetting people.

Former president George W. Bush released his new memoir. By the way, 'memoir' is just a fancy word for 'a bunch of stuff that happened to me.

I don't like my politicians entertaining me and I don't like my entertainers politicianing me.

A lot of people come to L.A. looking for something. What I came here for, I realize now, is to be okay with myself.