I'm a vulgar lounge entertainer, I don't need to wear a tie.

At CBS, I’m in your house. I’m mindful of that. When I do standup, you’re in my home and I can say what I want to.

I did have a love for literature that overpowered my hatred of the people who taught it, and I think because I had no respect for the teachers, their attitude didn't poison the writing that I was discovering for myself.

President Obama announced his re-election campaign, though it’s not really a surprise. He did all the things that make it official: He filed the paperwork, redesigned his website, and printed another fake birth certificate.

....maybe fear is God's way of saying, "Pay attention, this could be fun.

I think in our desire to create a better America,we have to have civilized debate in this country and not just yelling.

The devil is not abroad at night in the form of a cat or a wolf or any other animal. He lives eternally in the hearts of men.