I know that's not the right accent, but I can't do the right accent. It's either the wrong accent or another Octomom joke.

Other than the laws of physics, rules have never really worked out for me.

Sometimes my pathology just spills out into the camera doesn't it?

I have that hypocrisy of a parent in that I'm like,'Come on, you've got to toughen up at the same time let me take care of that for you.

You know, where I come from, an antique, to be called an antique, it has to be at least a hundred years old. That's a law: before you can call something an antique, it has to be a hundred years old. In L.A., something that's been around for a couple of weeks is an antique. It's true! People are like, Look at this old-fashioned iPod. Look at this! It's the size of a man's hand! Ha ha ha ha. Back then-back then, people thought Mel Gibson was just acting crazy. It was a very different time.

There's something spiritual in hard work. Spirituality isn't all aromatherapy and scented candles.

You can never talk religion on network TV. It makes too many people angry. You can talk about sex.