By the power of Steven Wright's Beard!

By the power of Steven Wright's Beard!

I do a public access show with puppets. Puppets called actors, TV and movie stars.

I can't wait to see the debate between Ryan and Joe Biden. Biden is said to be already trying out different strategies. So far the one that Obama likes is where Biden pretends to have food poisoning and they cancel the debate.

I think that everything looks a little scarier at night, when the sun goes down. And I know I kind of want a sense of reassurance or a community. Late-night shows is a rare place because that's what we do. Increasingly, I felt like I didn't want to be that guy. I didn't want to do that. It wasn't the only reason that I stopped doing it, but it was a consideration - I didn't know how to process tragedy after tragedy and then ... it just got too much, I think.

That's why Credit card companies are evil. Are they sponsoring the show tonight? ... They are Evil.

Much of television has been homogenized in the desire to avoid annoying or upsetting people.