By the power of Steven Wright's Beard!

I don't get emails from my corporate overlords.

The Afghan government is as corrupt as a prostitute with a law degree.

I think in our desire to create a better America,we have to have civilized debate in this country and not just yelling.

Some people watching CNN were so shocked they started rioting. No, I'm kidding. No one watches CNN.

Donald Trump showed his birth certificate to reporters. Who cares about his birth certificate? I want to know if that thing on his head has had its vaccinations.

Love at first sight is not rare, in fact it is extremely common, it happens to some people a few times a year. The feeling of what if when meeting the eyes of a stranger can be love unrecognized.