People spend thousands of dollars trying to keep their teeth straight. I just hope we can live in a world where we accept gay teeth.

Mark Zuckerberg was named Time's Person of the Year. I'm sorry if you don't recognize the name. A magazine is something people used to read.

I know the fashion is that everything is fair game [for comedy material] but I don't believe that.

People spend thousands of dollars trying to keep their teeth straight. I just hope we can live in a world where we accept gay teeth.

Here at CBS, spring also means March Madness. I love the name March Madness. I'm glad the PC police haven't made us change March Madness to early spring psychosis.

It's tricky turning a book into a movie. Sometimes people love the book so much that no adaptation lives up to what they imagined. You can avoid that disappointment by never, ever reading books.

The U.S. Senate is considering a bill that would tax Botox. When Botox users heard this, they were horrified. Well, I think they were horrified. It's difficult to tell.