People spend thousands of dollars trying to keep their teeth straight. I just hope we can live in a world where we accept gay teeth.

Things were very different back in 1992. There was unrest in the Middle East, we had a gridlocked Congress, and everybody was talking about Bill Cosby.

You should never protest outside a rich guy's home during the day because he's not there. He's at work grinding the faces of the poor.

I don't just like sexual double entendres I love them, I stroke them, I milk them, I spank them when they're naughty.

The new Pope, Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio, is now Pope Francis the 1st. Francis was not his first choice for a name. But the Vatican wisely talked him out of Pope Boo Boo.

I think in our desire to create a better America,we have to have civilized debate in this country and not just yelling.

Historically, when Americans don't know what to do next, they go to Paris. Benjamin Franklin is like: 'What am I going to do now? I'll go to Paris!'