Technically my dog's naked most of the time. Except halloween, when I dress him up as Liza Minelli.

Tomorrow is your future's yesterday.

Clay Aiken ran for Congress in North Carolina. But he didn't make it. Clay Aiken is famous for coming in second in a TV popularity contest that most people got fed up with years ago. He also lost on 'American Idol.'

Is it really that important? It's just television, for God's sake. It's not medicine or something.

Being an American is something I wanted to be for a very long time, probably since I saw the moon landing when I was a child.

The devil is not abroad at night in the form of a cat or a wolf or any other animal. He lives eternally in the hearts of men.

If we are now holding late-night talk-show hosts to the same moral accountability as we hold politicians or clergymen, I'm out. I'm gone.