Technically my dog's naked most of the time. Except halloween, when I dress him up as Liza Minelli.

These days, teachers have it rough. Kids can be hyperactive, disobedient, and obnoxious. It must feel like being locked in a room of drunk midgets.

I don't drink anymore for Cinco de Mayo. I celebrate with Mexican food, or as it's known in Mexico: 'food.'

The views expressed by Me are in no way endorsed by CBS any of its allied companies or in fact Me.

A woman in Germany gave birth to a 13 1/2 pound baby. That baby was so fat his first word was strudel.

Don't ever rope me in as a late-night talk show host. I don't want to be one.

Divorce lawyers stoke anger and fear in their clients, knowing that as long as the conflicts remain unresolved the revenue stream will keep flowing.