The virus in the movie 'Contagion' is based on the bird flu which came out of nowhere back in 2008. Everyone thought it was going to change the way we live and it just faded away. Wait a minute, I'm talking about President Obama.
Craig FergusonThere's a commercial break coming and I'm very excited about it and you know why? Because that's what keeps daddy in suits.
Craig FergusonI haven't had a drink in thirteen years, but occasionally I'm tempted to have one beer. The problem is that if I have that one beer, I wake up in Tijuana four days later with a tattoo and a sore ass.
Craig FergusonWhat we do have is nothin' but time. Welcome to the Shawshank Redemption of late night!
Craig Ferguson