I don't think of myself of a late-show host any more than I think of myself of a game-show host. I mean, I've done both, I've been an actor. I'm just kind of a carny, that's it.

It's all about the triumph of intellect and romance over brute force and cynicism.

Don't hit women. Never, ever, ever.

Remember the band, Flock of Seagulls? They had their van stolen. I was like, They still have a van?

I'm not so much a dragon slayer, more a dragon annoyer -- I'm a dragon irritater.

You can never talk religion on network TV. It makes too many people angry. You can talk about sex.

I don't think of myself of a late-show host any more than I think of myself of a game-show host. I mean, I've done both, I've been an actor. I'm just kind of a carny, that's it.