Now, I know Obama was trying to take the long view, but talking about solar energy in the middle of the oil spill is like watching your house engulfed in flames and saying, 'We really should change the curtains.'

The idea of having Australians upset at me is just awful.

After all this time I found that the novel is in fact punk rock.

You clap. The Censor wakes up. We all get into trouble.

The new Pope, Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio, is now Pope Francis the 1st. Francis was not his first choice for a name. But the Vatican wisely talked him out of Pope Boo Boo.

I'm hooked on email. That's right, kids, I'm one of you.

She still cared for me, and the best way I could make amends to her was to be happy. I do have a knack for finding great women.