I'm gonna enjoy being old I think I'll be awesome at it.

I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.

Gas prices - it is $6 a gallon here. People in L.A. are furious. You can't tell, of course, because of the Botox.

If you're frightened of leprechauns, the best thing to do is to get yourself a little leprechaun outfit and see how big they are. And then you'll go, 'Well I see. That's like bein' frightened of a hampster.'

Look, there is nothing you can say about this show that I don't already know

I'm reading a book, because I'm brainy. No, it is a book - if you don't know, it is like a blog except bigger.

There's a commercial break coming and I'm very excited about it and you know why? Because that's what keeps daddy in suits.