I'm gonna enjoy being old I think I'll be awesome at it.

Remember the band, Flock of Seagulls? They had their van stolen. I was like, They still have a van?

If you absolutely believe that what you do is right, you're bullet-proof.

According to a new study, our email is not as safe as we thought. How do they know this? They've been reading my email.

I don't think of myself of a late-show host any more than I think of myself of a game-show host. I mean, I've done both, I've been an actor. I'm just kind of a carny, that's it.

I don't know why some people get worked up about gay people marrying. It's not gay people who are ruining the sanctity of marriage, it's celebrities.

Clay Aiken ran for Congress in North Carolina. But he didn't make it. Clay Aiken is famous for coming in second in a TV popularity contest that most people got fed up with years ago. He also lost on 'American Idol.'