I enjoyed retirement the right way linguine con vongole, red wine and plenty of truffle cheese.

Hillary Clinton has finished writing her book where she says her marriage couldn't be stronger, and Bill just finished his book titled 'Chicks I Nailed While Hillary was Writing Her Book.'

George W. Bush even stopped in Pennsylvania to try his hand at the lotto and gave up when he could only think of the numbers 4 and 17

President Bush is in the hot seat over Iraqi pre-war intelligence. Remember the good ol' days when the only thing the president was trying to cover up was a stain?

I always tell people I romanticize about doing something simple, like doing radio in northern California.

My brother asked me once, 'Are you a misanthrope?' And I said, 'No, I just find people irritating.'

I don't want to scare anybody here but we just received word from police that Howard Dean is loose and may be armed with a microphone.