I tried to go out for theater or theater arts, but I was too scared or too intimidated. But I had a lot of friends on the cross country team that had great senses of humor.

You know ladies and gentlemen, a long time ago , there were lots of people, but that was a long time ago

The two things that can hurt you are if you need money or if you need fame. Those are the things that can be your Achilles' heel. But if you don't need money and you don't need fame, then you're free.

I know it's a cliche, but the whole family is just whacked. I mean, we're all out of our minds. They're the funniest, most eccentric bizarre people I've ever met, my siblings.

I'm thirty years old, but I read at the thirty-four-year-old level.

If I only ran when nothing hurt, I would never run.

I got lucky. I won the San Francisco Stand-Up Comedy Competition in 1977 while I was still at San Francisco State.