59% of all suicides are actually botched murder-suicides performed by dyslexics.

I don't want to appear to be placing blame, but as far my life is concerned, everything is pretty much my dad's ball's fault.

Homo sapiens are the only mammals who intentionally hold Beard Of Bees competitions.

If I masturbate while Googling myself, which part is more redundant?

A lot of people are looking for their soul mates. Along the way, it's nice to bump into some genital pals.

Do transvestites have to dress up for Halloween or do they pretty much qualify from the get-go?

Have you noticed since Global Warming took hold that all the snowmen look kind of angry?