My daughter will say she's hungry, and I'm like, 'Buddy, you're just bored. Do you understand? And you're already starting a pattern of satisfying an internal disconnect with an external stimulation, and that's a dead-end road, sweetie. Courtney Love lives on that road; you don't want to live on that road.

I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.

I bet when all the punctuation marks have a party, they quietly look at exclamation point's wife and think, that poor woman.

Take away the robots and the special effects, and Star Wars is just the simple story of a group of friends planning a terrorist attack.

The best part of chronic head lice is it takes away your fear of dying alone.

That which does not kill you isn't finished.

Christ was born in a manger, laying down amongst donkeys ang goats. He was given gifts of incense and perfume. No kidding.