One phrase you don't want kicking off your obituary is, Never, in the long history of bungee jumping.
Twitter is not a good place for people who feel they're being followed.
The expression working like a dog dates back to a time in America when men would rise early, then lie around all day and lick their balls.
I have one phobia, snakes. And by snakes I mean intimacy.
Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo!
I love my dog, but since the kids came along, the petting has gone out of our relationship.