There's something vaguely erotic about watching a woman eat a banana while cupping two plums.
Dana GouldI love my dog, but since the kids came along, the petting has gone out of our relationship.
Dana GouldIf anything, I believe that when I die, I will have to stand in front of all the children who went to bed hungry while I was on earth and read aloud a list of my eBay purchases. I shudder to think of it. Explaining to a poor child with a swollen belly why I didn't give his village fifty cents a week but spent twenty-seven dollars in a bidding war for a Mars Attacks coffee cup.
Dana GouldThe more women walk around in sweat pants, the harder it is to tell who's out jogging and who's running away from a mugger.
Dana Gould