In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man will probably end up dating the best looking blind chick.

In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man will probably end up dating the best looking blind chick.

What men say: I'm sorry, honey. I was wrong. What men think: I'd love a Chipwich. I should go get one.

Dogs: the best friend you will ever have that pees on your couch and stays your friend.

I would think, if you were horny enough, there'd come a time when it was hos before bros.

Chocolate covered peanuts, chocolate covered raisins, chocolate covered pretzels... Chocolate. So afraid to be alone.

Did you know that Dog Heaven and Cat Hell were the same place?