In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man will probably end up dating the best looking blind chick.

If I ever go into a coma, one of you has to promise to come by occasionally and tweeze my unibrow.

It might not be rational, but I am terrified of getting stuck in an elevator with a bear.

Egg nog. Because nothing satisfies like a cold glass of eggs.

A giant python was discovered in Florida. Spooky news for a state that derives half it's income from a giant mouse.

One great way to mess with devout Christians and atheists would be if Jesus came back and said, By the way, you know I'm fake, right?

The only thing that will stop a bad guy with a pressure cooker bomb is a good guy with a slightly larger pressure cooker bomb.