Getting plastic surgery in your late 70's, it's kind of like painting your house as the fire approaches. Just die, there's no shame in it.

My life is just like Breaking Bad except instead of a chemistry teacher I'm just a guy and instead of making meth I don't do much.

Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.

It's nice to live in a country that has its priorities straight: the library's open three hours a week, and the House of Fist is 24/7.

Life imitates art but art intimidates life.

Getting plastic surgery in your late 70's, it's kind of like painting your house as the fire approaches. Just die, there's no shame in it.

There's nothing like a string of Xmas lights inside the house to make the whole family feel like they live in a vintage clothing store.