If I masturbate while Googling myself, which part is more redundant?

I can't wait for the day I learn to live in the now!

I'm only afraid of dying if I'm to be held accountable for what I did while living. If there's no God or reckoning, I'm like, whew!

It's nice to live in a country that has its priorities straight: the library's open three hours a week, and the House of Fist is 24/7.

Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.

I know that big, important things don't just come together overnight, but I've been me for a long time now and it's still not working.

Somewhere, there's someone who's masturbation ritual ends with them setting up ventriloquist dummies facing the bed. I mean, someone else.