If I masturbate while Googling myself, which part is more redundant?

Had an audition for a pilot today, but realized I could save gas and help the environment by pissing up a rope here at home!

Christ was born in a manger, laying down amongst donkeys ang goats. He was given gifts of incense and perfume. No kidding.

There's something vaguely erotic about watching a woman eat a banana while cupping two plums.

One day they will invent a time machine and, like the internet, it will be used primarily for boning.

Twitter is not a good place for people who feel they're being followed.

My first open mic was fantastic. I crushed. And my second mic was as bad as my first one was good.