Even if I say, Everyone in the village died of diarrhea, I still laugh a little after diarrhea.

How do I ask my shrink to stop responding to everything I say with, Too much information! and then giggling behind a pillow?

If I had a Volkswagon Beetle. I'd paint the front to resemble Glenn Langdon in War Of The Colossal Beast. Why? Two words: The Ladies.

A giant python was discovered in Florida. Spooky news for a state that derives half it's income from a giant mouse.

The more women walk around in sweat pants, the harder it is to tell who's out jogging and who's running away from a mugger.

Despite a primitive brain, the octopus possesses an intricate system that helps it decide which tentacle to masturbate with.

Every day is a gift. That said, I've gotten some pretty shitty gifts over the years.