Twitter is not a good place for people who feel they're being followed.
Why is it, when I have nothing to do, I drink more coffee? It's as if I'm in a big hurry to get nothing done.
People get into stand-up comedy by and large because they're smart and they have a perspective.
The average permanent lasts about four months.
Life imitates art but art intimidates life.
Reality TV is the perfect antidote to people who don't have enough self-centered douchebags in their life.