If studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.

Love means never having to say you're sorry. Marriage means apologizing when you know you're right.

The Elephant Man claimed his head was big because, it's so full of dreams. Actually, it's because his skull was shaped like a turkey.

I am faced with a bruising dilemma: pay to fix the dishwasher or continue serving everything in waffle cones.

Here's something you never hear: Now that I've worked through all my emotional issues, I'm free to dedicate my life to ventriloquism!

Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?

I went to high school with some wonderful people, but my entire high school experience was just waiting to leave.