If studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.

I was an altar boy in the Roman Catholic Church and no priest ever laid a hand on me. That's me, always the bridesmaid.

The hole on the face of an acoustic guitar is called the sound hole. The one of the face of its player is called the sincerity hole.

There's a big difference between poll workers and pole workers. Sadly.

Strap On spelled backwards is No Parts. Just sayin'.

Despite a primitive brain, the octopus possesses an intricate system that helps it decide which tentacle to masturbate with.

I'm so weird with women. I couldn't go up to a gorgeous woman and tell her the building's on fire. 'Don't take this the wrong way, uh. I don't mean to be weird and I'm not trying to be creepy, but the building's on fire.