Twitter is not a good place for people who feel they're being followed.

We broke up, and my first reaction was 'Fine - I've been through this too many times. I can't change your mind. I can't live your life for you. You're gone in your direction. I'm going to pick up; I'm going to go in my direction. I'm not going to live in the past. I'm not going to embrace the pain. You go, I'll go, and that will be it.' And I felt that way for an hour and 10 minutes.

I once felt bad because I had no shoes, and then I met a man who had no feet. He was wearing an ankle bracelet that kept falling off.

Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.

The best part of living in constant terror is you always have a place to live.

Reality TV is the perfect antidote to people who don't have enough self-centered douchebags in their life.

You have an obligation to challenge your fans and your viewers.