I love my dog, but since the kids came along, the petting has gone out of our relationship.
I'm no longer afraid of not making enough mistakes.
I've often been accused of being the comic's comic. It's a bad business model when your fans are the people who get in free.
There's something profoundly disturbing about watching an old guy eat a sandwich.
The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.
If studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.