Is there an award for the best trophy? I bet they hand out a plaque.

In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man will probably end up dating the best looking blind chick.

A big blizzard proves there's no global warming in the same way being out of milk proves there's no such thing as cows.

If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?

My dog is so old, she now has a lot of cats.

The more women walk around in sweat pants, the harder it is to tell who's out jogging and who's running away from a mugger.

I'm of the generation of kids where the G.I. Joe's developed Kung Fu Grip right around the same time I did.