Unshaven dudes in hoodies and ski caps look so hip and cool, until they too close to a grocery cart full of dented cans.

Is there an award for the best trophy? I bet they hand out a plaque.

Reality TV is the perfect antidote to people who don't have enough self-centered douchebags in their life.

Earthquakes would be great if they could hit specific areas, like the parent lounge at a children's beauty pageant.

Just because one pedophile is a football coach, please don't turn against all pedophiles.

The average permanent lasts about four months.

If I had a dreamcatcher when I was thirteen, it would have spent many long days in the dryer.