A giant python was discovered in Florida. Spooky news for a state that derives half it's income from a giant mouse.

When you break life down, it's about 100% time management.

I was an altar boy in the Roman Catholic Church and no priest ever laid a hand on me. That's me, always the bridesmaid.

I tried synchronized swimming, but felt, over time, I was just going through the motions.

Why do some bald guys grow ponytails? It it the same reason people too old to run always wear track shoes and sweat pants?

Marriage is like a row boat: it fits two, it doesn't work on auto-pilot and it's very difficult to have sex in.

Drum Competitions are called such because no one wants to win the big Beat Off.