My life is just like Breaking Bad except instead of a chemistry teacher I'm just a guy and instead of making meth I don't do much.
There must be a way to get more of these in me faster, thought the inventor of pea soup as he sat eating peas.
I want to leave the world as I entered it: naked and crying in a room full of strangers.
What do people in prison say when they meet new friends? Give me your cell number.
Very few positive experiences begin with being told to count back slowly from ten.
The magazine at the health food store said, Stop Aging! Isn't that what death is for? Trust me, we're all gonna stop aging.