Listening to Evanescence makes me want to break up with a girl in real time as a giant antique hourglass falls to the floor in slow motion.

You've gotta share what's going on in your mind.

You can't teach an old hater new truths.

Comedy is immediate. Comedy is a solo mission. You're all by yourself, up there. And when you're in a film, on a set, it's a collaborative effort. It's about me being a tool for somebody else to create a story and a character from nothing, from their imagination.

Created a word game to play with a person you're fighting with. Silent Treatment. Nothing happens until one of you quietly says, Hey, you hungry?

I have faith in all mankind. Well,not faith really, more like hopeful suspicion. And not "all" but 5 people. Mankind meaning computers.

I've always read books and loved human behavior since I was ten or twelve years old. Maybe even that's why I wanted to do comedy.