You can easily tell if a person is lying and cheating on you if they say, I love you. I would never lie to you or cheat on you.

I don't know if I could rebuild an airplane engine, but I know a little bit about rotors and rivets.

Sometimes sex is just a way to escape having to talk to that person.

I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...

If you're 1 of the 3 girls in pics with a greaseball whose arms are around you at a club you lose at life. If you're the greaseball you win.

I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.

I don't like when juice wears tights, its a horrible combination when juice wears tights.