You can easily tell if a person is lying and cheating on you if they say, I love you. I would never lie to you or cheat on you.

I'm a deep thinker when it comes to shallow no brainers.

When I'm wrong I'm like the Emperor on the Death Star thinking he'll turn Luke. Yet, when I'm right I'm a Jedi like my father before me.

Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!

There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.

Saw a lost dog sign with a pic of the dog and a little boy hugging it. I'm assuming the kids safe and we're just focusing on the pooch.

Text a guy you like right now, "I'm thinking about you." If he says, "mmm are you in bed?" Never speak to him again he's a lifelong moron.