Hi, I'm a buck tooth and I like to be outside past the lips.

I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.

I am going to name a group of my kids after my favorite cartoons, I am going to name them after Transformers.

I think that people who do enjoy my stand-up comedy and the people who get it and the people who are taken in by it, they see that I'm a guy that has love of the game.

If you live far away from a person you no longer want to date just let them know that they are geographically undesirable.

Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.

It's hard to be happy for someone when you know deep down they'd kill you if they had the chance.