I would love to have acidy spit.

When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.

I'm curious by individuals that embrace half a story so they can justify how incomplete they feel about their own self worth.

I had one job that was kind of cop-like. One summer I did security at a miniature golf course. Just standing out in the sun all day, Hey, hey, excuse me sir. Get your putter out of the whale's ass. Come on, this is a place of miniature business. This is not a playground even though it looks like a playground.

My nickname for my mom was 'The Compass.'

I love singing along to the radio while I'm riding in the back of a squad car.

Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.