I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.

I feel like I was born and bred to stay self-motivated. I'm not one of those people who ho-hums and feels sorry for himself when something's bad.

You know you're lazy when you run out of toilet paper and use the cardboard roll to wipe with.

I won't take no for a question.

I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.

Teach your kids to make deplorable choices and hopefully they'll rebel and make the right ones.

Someone needs to make a zombie movie where when you get bit it turns you into a singing and dancing extraordinaire.