I don't hate anyone. I simply block them out using hellish visions in a blind white rage. But if I see them out I'm pleasant.

In the year 3000, everything will be instant.

You know you're lazy when you run out of toilet paper and use the cardboard roll to wipe with.

It's amazing how dumb people can impress you with how much stupider they can be when they really assert themselves.

You have to have a strong sense of humor to date me, and also know that you're probably going to be a part of the routine quite a bit.

You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.

I don't know if I could kill someone with a frozen turkey because that is a lot of evidence to eat .... unless I found a whole room of people who also wanted that person dead.