When you don't have love, it's like there's a party going on, and everybody was invited, except for you. And you just happened to be walking by that house in the rain...

Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.

Sometimes, when a person gains a lot of success at a very young age, they become targets, and it's really easy to follow the crowds and not make independent decisions based on truly how you feel.

Sometimes sex is just a way to escape having to talk to that person.

You have to have a strong sense of humor to date me, and also know that you're probably going to be a part of the routine quite a bit.

The problem with dating a model is they won't go out with you if your cars color doesn't match their outfit.

After you have loss in your life and after you experience something like losing your parents, the greatest gift of that was it prepared me for [anything]. Nothing else is as scary, and certainly stand-up comedy is not as scary as sitting there with your mom and having to have last conversations and things like that. It's heavy stuff, but it's enlightening because it makes me think I shouldn't be afraid of sharing ideas and thoughts with people. It's the yin and the yang of life.