I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.

You must accept responsibility for your actions. This doesn't include reactions, interactions or transactions if you're thinkin' loophole.

When someone's running late through an airport, I hope they miss their flight so they can meet the love of their life at the duty free shop.

The little boy inside of all us men always loves something video game related.

I'm watching some television tonight. I'm watching The Discovery Channel. You know, this channel, you never ever plan on watching this. It just happens. You're flickin' around, all of a sudden - boom - you're watching a mole for an hour-and-a-half.

I love hecklers. They remind you that you are a comedian.

I have new ideas every day, and I always want to take on new challenges.