I feel like the gods have certainly patted me on the head.
True love is when you're cheating on a person but the thought of them still makes your eyes smile!
Some people have constipation of the brain but their mouth has the runs.
I found someones passport on the ground tonight. Where do you sell these things?
Saw a lost dog sign with a pic of the dog and a little boy hugging it. I'm assuming the kids safe and we're just focusing on the pooch.
Sometimes girls act all TNT Network because they know drama. That's when guys get all TBS around you because we think it's very funny.