When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.
I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.
Why do bad guys in movies always love to whistle really slowly?
This is a dream come true. HBO is the highest echelon in the world for a stand-up comedian to attain. Throughout my career I've trusted my instincts to lead me down the right path, and I am honored to work together with this network while contributing to the legacy that is HBO.
I don't like littering and I think it leads to terrorist activities.
Time machine... wouldn't you like to travel through time? I would. I'd go back... mess with people. You know what I would do? I would go back to when my mom and dad were having sex, to have me. Ya'know, come in, spank my dad on the ass I'm your son from the future! Ahaha!