If you're 1 of the 3 girls in pics with a greaseball whose arms are around you at a club you lose at life. If you're the greaseball you win.
Dane CookDear semi hot girl taking photos on a boat. It's not your boat so stop acting like you own it. You drive a used Civic.
Dane CookI miss dating only for that final moment you kiss goodnight, watch her get out of your car and run into the police station.
Dane CookIf you think your demeanor is mellow or not particularly charismatic, the material can life you higher. So write everyday, and get onstage or in a coffee shop where they are doing open mice, anywhere you can perform even if that means starting your own open mic night - and be your own self.
Dane Cook